Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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68

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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