Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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5

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops