Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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a jewish man walks down the street a hispanic man walks down the street a black man walks down the street an irish man walks down the street and into a pub

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

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An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

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what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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Banana Hamock.

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a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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