i have a christmas tree.

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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