Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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