How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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