Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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Women's rights.

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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world peace

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops