When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

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A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

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Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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Spotto

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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Your mom is a whore bitchy virgin

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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my gramma died

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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