Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

If youre African, why are you white?

A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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