- Anti Joke

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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