Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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Yo mama's so poor she is on welfare.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops