Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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Okay, one second.

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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Woman Rights

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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