If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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Muslim athletes.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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These Jokes suck.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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My life :(

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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your going to die

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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my shift key is broken1

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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