How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

luke moore cant pull it back

Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

A baby gets hit by a bus.

Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

Women's rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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