How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

Whats white and sticky fluff

Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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