What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Once upon a cross

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

thumb_up thumb_down +41

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yes!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I can't see my forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops