What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

thumb_up thumb_down

Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

thumb_up thumb_down

This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down

How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and white and red all over? Colors

thumb_up thumb_down

What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

thumb_up thumb_down

this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops