Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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Joe Biden

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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What do dead people think when they die? Nothing,they're dead.

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops