What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

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Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

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im a selling a car

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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