What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -87

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A black goes to college

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

thumb_up thumb_down +44

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops