potatoes

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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ps3

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops