Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is a real guy. Sorry kids.

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What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What was the blind man doing at the movies? He was on a date.

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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Why did the Mexican cross the street? He didn't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

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why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

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Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

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Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

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Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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