What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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Why....... Because.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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Your mom.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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Black people

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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