Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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Women's rights.

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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