Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

An Irishman stays home

look at there!! an entire dog!!

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

beiber i straight

Jasper sucks.

How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

69

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

This joke isnt funny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...