Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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nbjhfghl

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Why....... Because.

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Women's Golf

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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A homeless person dies.

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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