What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

i am predestal

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Freedom of Speech

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops