How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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