Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops