If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops