What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

u know whats a crime? rape

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

i dont fisish anythi

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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