Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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star wars kid

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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