your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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