What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops