What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Guest what in the butt

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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