Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops