What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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A van drives into a car.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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