David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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