Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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