Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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