two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

whats black white and red all over an abused child

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

justin beiber sucks

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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