Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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