Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -145

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +76

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops