What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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National security?

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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