Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

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Military intelligence.

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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You know what they say about big feet... big penis.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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