Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops