What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

Mr. T watched "the notebook"

Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

hey guys im gay

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...