whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Double-whammy

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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