A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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meatspin.fr

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops