A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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What comes after 69? 70

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops