What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

thumb_up thumb_down +96

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops